Friday, October 23, 2015

Strong Women

When I was at Catalyst, in addition to hearing Margaret Feinberg, I heard two other strong women, Dr. Brene Brown and Christine Caine.  They both have several books, and I'm in the middle of reading Dr. Brown's Daring Greatly and enjoying it very much.  Dr. Brown first gained acclaim for her TED talk on vulnerability and shame.  Below is a summary of what each of these women had to say.



Dr. Brene Brown

If we are brave enough, often enough, we are going to fall.

People who dare greatly choose courage over comfort and have a high capacity for disappointment.

The people who are the most resilient after falling or failing practice certain habits that enable them to get back up.  

When we are hurt or face something hard, emotions get the first crack at making sense of it.  Our brain rewards us for creating a story to interpret the event, and we experience this reward whether the story is accurate or not.  People who are resilient recognize when they are reacting with emotion to an event.  They stop and think about this and are curious about what they feel.  They have a tremendous understanding of their emotional landscape.

These people physically write down the story they are creating.  Dr. Brown calls this the "@!$% first draft."  They have then learned to confront people with this story by saying something like, "The story I'm telling myself right now is..."  Many times this leads to a conversation that tells a different story and restores the relationship between the people involved.

In the absence of real data we all make up our own story about what has occurred.  When you own the story, you get to make up the ending.



Christine Caine:  She spoke from Numbers 13, about the 12 spies that went into the promised land.

The people who ended up wandering in the wilderness were the Lost Generation.  They had seen more of the glory and power of the Lord than any other people in all of history.  This means you can be in the midst of a miracle and not know the God of the miracle.

Ten of the twelve leaders kept the people from experiencing the glory of God.  We don't even remember their names.  But how many people even today are named Caleb and Joshua.

Your perspective will determine the destiny of many others.

These leaders couldn't comprehend what God said in verse 2 : “Send some men to explore the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites."  God said He was GIVING them the land, not seeing if they were able to take it.

Some of you keep asking God for signs, wonders and miracles, and then you refuse to put yourself in any kind of context where you need one. 

The ingredients of a miracle are right there in our midst.

Even though it has been more than a week since I heard these talks, God is still using them to speak to my heart and mind.  I am glad to share them with you here, because maybe you need to hear them too.


Sunday, October 18, 2015

Dealing with Regrets

In visiting other churches in Dunlap we have been welcomed at each place by a large number of friends and acquaintances in each congregation.  We are thankful to see so many familiar faces.  But there are other people out there who were part of our lives for a season but have not resurfaced into our lives until now.  Most of these encounters have been very positive with lots of questions about our grown children and our current lives.  A couple of the encounters come with a twinge of guilt.  Even these have been positive, but they take me back to times of failure in my interactions with their children.

I met the mother of three sons, two of whom were students in my classroom in fourth grade.  One of these boys was a very difficult student, whose behavior was challenging.  We both survived the school year, but I encountered this young man again a couple of years later during VBS.  His behavior at church led me to ask him not to return to our class.  I can't tell you how many times I have regretted this decision.  I wish I had been more creative in finding a solution to dealing with his behavior.  I hurt his mother's feelings, and later I felt the need to go and apologize to her for not dealing with her son in a better way.  She was so gracious in accepting my apology, and I have always been grateful for that.  When I encountered her at church last week she was so warm and gracious once again.  I was glad of it, but that decision long ago is still something I regret.

I also had a student long ago who was severely autistic.  I had worked with several handicapped students in my career including a blind student and one with severe epilepsy, but I found myself ill-equipped to deal with autism. (This was in the beginning when autism was just starting to be recognized as a condition).  I encountered this student along with his mother and father this week in the church I attended.  I was able to hear this mother give testimony to what a kind, loving young man he is, and how much she has struggled with being excluded from activities because the behavior of her son is uncomfortable for many people.  She spoke so passionately about his character and their struggles that I was moved.  All these years later I had moved on, but she was there day after day caring for, advocating for, and loving this son.  It made wish very much that I had enlisted her help in dealing with this boy and becoming an ally of hers, instead of keeping my distance and just getting by.

We all have regrets.  We all have failures in our lives.  What I've learned from these encounters is that when you are doing your best and have good intentions, people are mostly gracious when you make mistakes.  I've also learned that involving the parent is a key to having the best shot at having a positive interaction with difficult students.  It doesn't always work, but I still think it is the most important step a teacher can take in these situations.



Saturday, October 17, 2015

How to Comfort the Afflicted


Another speaker at the Catalyst conference was Margaret Feinberg.  She has a number of books including Fight Back with Joy and Wonderstruck.  On Wednesday I attended a small group session in which she spoke.  The main idea of her talk in this workshop was to explain to us what we can do for those dealing with cancer, other major illnesses, death of loved ones and other traumatic events.  She speaks with authority as a cancer survivor who is still very much in the battle for her life.  Here are some of the ideas she shared in her talk.

Suffering allows you to see the other side of your soul.  Adversity boils the scum of your life to the top. It gives you a new way to look at joy. You find fellowship in the others who are afflicted.  It changes the way you read the Bible.

What do you do when you read the story of the Good Samaritan and all of the sudden you are the man who was robbed and left for dead?

How can we better care for those who are afflicted?

          1.  Give the gift of your ongoing presence.  Many friends are willing to cook a casserole or send a care package in the beginning, but they don't go the distance.  It is hard for us to want to hear their cry or enter into their affliction.

          2.  Be slow to speak.  People so often say dumb things, things that hurt.  Speak no harm.  Margaret has created a set of cards that say things that are helpful.  You can find them here.  If someone has passed away, don't be afraid to mention the name of the person who has passed.  Their loved ones like to know that person is remembered.

          3.  Be a quiet and consistent learner. (This made me think of all the things i have learned in dealing with my aunt and uncle.) Here she mentioned that you shouldn't ask anyone what stage cancer they have.  It's like saying, "How long do you have?"  

          4.  Be practical and yet imaginative.  Remember that the needs of the afflicted person are always changing.  Ask the person what they need, but don't put the burden of figuring out the answer by themselves.  Give them options like, "Would you rather have a gas card, or babysitting, or your lawn mowed?"

          5.  Ask God how to pray for the person.  Don't assume that you know what they need from God.  Be open to the moving of the Holy Spirit.  "Lord, teach us to pray."

I found lots of good, practical advice from someone who speaks from experience.  Maybe some of you need to know this too.





Tuesday, October 13, 2015

The Amazing Jeremy Cowart



The most stunning presentation at Catalyst came from Jeremy Cowart.  I had never heard of him before last week, but I'm sure we've all seen some of his work.  He has been called the most influential photographer in America (if not the world).  He had an awesome testimony.

Jeremy told us that as a kid he grew up knowing that he was not smart and not good at school.  He said that often he told his parents "I can't."  His dad told him over and over, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."  Jeremy found his way first with art, and later with photography.  Here's a blurb from his website about what he has done:

Jeremy has taken portraits of many familiar names such as Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Tim Tebow, The Kardashians, Sting, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Heidi Klum, Gwyneth Paltrow, The Civil Wars, Emma Stone, Courtney Cox, and Ryan Seacrest, just to name a few. His clients, mostly entertainment based, include ABC, FOX, A&E, F/X, Discovery Channel, ESPN, People, US Weekly, VIBE, E!, Universal Records, Sony Records and Warner Brothers Records. His work has been published in Rolling Stone, ESPN Magazine, People Magazine, USA Today, Fast Company, NYTimes, TIME, Nylon and more.

After becoming successful in his field, he became interested, because of his faith in Christ, in exploring what good he could do in the world with his talents.  Here's just one example, again from his website:

Jeremy also spends his time on community projects, brainstorming innovative ways to use his camera to make an impact. In January 2010, after the devastating earthquake in Haiti, Jeremy responded with his “Voices of Haiti” photo essay, letting the people of Haiti write their own thoughts and prayers on found rubble. This project was displayed prominently at the entrance of a very important gathering of world leaders at the United Nations in March of 2010. They were meeting to discuss the rebuild of Haiti and they ended up pledging ten billion dollars to the effort. On that day, Jeremy’s “Voices of Haiti” project proved that art can help change the world.

Another initiative he founded is called Help Portrait.  In this project photographers are asked to donate time to underprivileged people.  This enables people who otherwise could never afford it to have a self-portrait or family portrait.  Some of these people have been able to use the portrait provided as part of their resume, and it has led to employment for them.  But beyond that, it is a way of showing the value of an individual and gives them a sense of worth and dignity.

His presentation was a slideshow/video which he narrated live.  It was amazing!  Afterwards he introduced his family and including two new children he and his wife recently adopted from Haiti.

 Here's a sample of some of his video work called "Portrait of Christ".

Sunday, October 11, 2015

What Andy Had to Say



Andy Stanley was the opening and closing speaker for Catalyst and as usual, his words really resonated with me.  Here are the highlights of what he had to say.


We need to awaken to the fact that what is isn’t all there is.
All of life conspires against wonder… age, experience, the church, parents.

Andy’s mentor was always asking him this question—“What are you working on BIG?”
                Don’t give your life to something small.

** To awaken the wonder within is to stir and disturb the imaginations of the people and organizations that you lead.
                Wonder is as threatening and disruptive as it is inspiring because the 
                essence of wonder requires you to work against the flow of the status quo.
                Some leaders resist giving in to wonder and imagination because they 
                don’t like what they can’t understand or control.
                Often organizations are buckets of water trying to quench the vision
                we have of the future.

To be a leader who awakens wonder in those you lead:
1.  Keep wonder wide awake in you.  If you allow wonder to shut down in you, you will shut it down in others. 
Be a student, not a critic.  Study and learn the wonder that is coming into your life, however it comes to you.
** Wonder lives on the frontiers of your ignorance.  You will learn the most from people who differ from you and those who have different ideas than you.
“In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”-- Eric Hoffer

2.  Replace “How?”  with “WOW!”   Fear not!  Don't let your first reaction be to "how" an idea to death.
3.  Add the word “imagine” to everything.

 Above all else, the fact that Jesus rose, His resurrection, should keep our wonder wide open!

Saturday, October 10, 2015

WOW! Catalyst 2015



What an amazing time I had in Atlanta!  Andy Stanley said it best:  "It's like trying to drink out of a fire hose."  That explains exactly how it feels to have so many talented people pour their thoughts and ideas out before you over the course of two days.

The theme of the conference was "Awaken the Wonder," and they had many creative ideas about how to awaken the wonder in us.  Some of the ideas made us think back to the wonder of childhood.  Outside during the breaks you could blow bubbles, play with Legos, color, and play games that were set up at various stations.  

I guess the most striking thing about all the speakers was how passionate and articulate they were.  These were people whose books I had read and who I may have even heard speak via the internet.  But hearing them in person was so powerful.  David Platt, oh my!  Erwin McManus, oh my!

But the women, oh, the women!  They were so amazing and inspiring to me.  They were allowed to talk, to share, and yes, to preach, and they were great!  Margaret Feinberg spoke on living through the tragedy of cancer.  Dr. Brene Brown told us how to have the courage to own our stories and live better ones.  Christine Caine, founder of A21, with such an tragic life story, really laid out the impact of good leaders and the impact of bad leaders.  Her point was that whether they were good or bad, they were still leaders, and their leadership impacted the destiny of their followers.

How we would have been diminished if we could not have heard the voice of these women.

The music was excellent as you would expect.  My favorite song was a new one called "When Death Was Arrested".  You should check it out.  Thursday night was capped off by a concert from David Crowder.  It was a great time, singing songs I have sung for so long, with this man who created them.  My favorite was "How He Loves."  

I plan to post several quotes from the conference and some posts about my favorite speakers.

It ended up that the roadblock for this leg of the race took care of itself.  It was simply the actual roadblock of Atlanta traffic.  I'm sorry to say that I did not leave Atlanta traffic totally unscathed.  Oh, well.  That 's part of the Amazing Race.   

Monday, October 5, 2015

Another Leg of the Amazing Race



I have been debating about whether to call my trip this week an actual leg of my Amazing Race, but since I'm making it all up myself I can do whatever I want, right?  So tomorrow night I'm heading to Atlanta to participate in the Catalyst Conference.  This event is a leadership conference put on by Andy Stanley.  My brother used to go to this every year, and he would tell me how much I would love it.  I can't tell you how excited I am to be going!

You have to be a kind of audacious person to go to a leadership conference when you have nothing to lead.  And I'm just audacious enough to believe that I have to be out there, looking for whatever God has in mind for me.  One of the draws is just to see and hear Andy Stanley in person after following him online and on video for such a long time.

The theme of the conference is "Awaken the Wonder."  What a unique thing to think about through the lens of leadership!  Here's the description included on the website:

We are hardwired for wonder.

Just as the wonder of the world points to God, a sight unseen, so too should our acts of creation bridge the gap between what is and what could be. We transfer wonder when we awaken it in others. Leadership is about providing a lens through which others can see. A heart awakened to wonder invites others to follow in its path. It connects ultimate existence to daily experience, helping others see the solutions, rewards, treasures, they previously could not see.
Wonder invites potential. Wonder provides vision. Wonder inspires. Wonder leads us to God.
It’s time to awaken the wonder.
I am excited about many of the speakers who will be presenting talks during the three days of the conference.  Some of them include David Platt, Jen Hatmaker, Dr. Brene Brown, Erwin McManus, Margaret Feinberg, Louie Giglio, and David Crowder.  What a line up!
When I told Phil about going he was excited for me.  He and I have the philosophy that we need to do all we can for as long as we can.  So every time we get to do something new, something we've dreamed of doing for a long time, we are very excited!
I'll have to think about what kind of challenge to make for myself on this leg of the race.  I'm open to ideas if anyone has a thought about what I could do.  I also plan to make my first attempt at tweeting from the conference.  We'll see how that goes.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Reacting to Violence

I heard a sermon this morning that really caused me to do a lot of thinking.  The scripture was Luke 10:1-12 where Jesus is sending out the seventy-two disciples to go and spread the word about Him.  In this passage Jesus says,

 Go your way; behold, I am sending you out as lambs in the midst of wolves.

It made me think about reactions to the shooting in Oregon, the latest in a long line of shootings.  Many of my friends think that being armed themselves is the answer to the problem, but I just can't think that this is the response Jesus would call us to.  I understand the right to bear arms that is guaranteed in our Constitution, but I can't help but believe that my decision to follow Christ often leads me to live and act in ways that are different than my American culture expects or finds acceptable.

How do Jesus' life and teachings lead us to react to violence?  Is there any teaching of Jesus that would lead us to believe that we should arm ourselves against our enemies?  In the passage above He sends out the disciples "as lambs in the midst of wolves."  Lambs are totally defenseless. Wolves want to devour lambs.  That's the relationship of the disciples to their enemy, and Jesus doesn't send them out with a sword.

Jesus' death on the cross certainly shows us that he didn't resist the violence perpetrated against him.  He had the power to blow all his enemies away, but he chose to submit to the violence in order to defeat its power.

God has called to live a life of love, including love for our enemies.  I John 4:18 tells us that "perfect love casts out fear," but I think the corollary of that statement is true too.  Fear casts out perfect love.  These shootings cause us to lash out in hate and fear, and Christ calls us to react in a different way.

There's also the idea that our warfare and weapons should look different from the warfare and weapons of the world.

2 Corinthians 10:3-4
For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.

And what are our weapons?  The fruit that the Spirit of God grows in our lives... love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.  "Against such there is no law."

Any ideas that call us to be non-violent are counter-intuitive to our culture.  They cause us to bristle and turn away.  But what if they are much closer to the reaction Jesus would want from us?  These thoughts are not new.  They certainly hark back to Ghandi and Martin Luther King, Jr.  They weren't popular with people then either, but they proved effective when put into practice by these leaders.

So I put these thoughts out there, knowing that they will be met with scorn from many of my friends.  But I think it's very important for you to know that there are people in your life, in your family, in your community who think that taking up arms is not the answer to the violence we find in our society.