My Diamond Man

Today is our anniversary. We have been married 31 years. Being married is hard. It's good, but it's hard. Today I'm thankful that Phil and I hung on to each other. There were many times when either one of us could have called it quits. Anyone who's been married for awhile can testify to this. But in the end, we were able to stay together for a couple of different reasons.

The first reason we stayed together is a determination to stay committed. In spite of how we might feel at different times, we did not let leaving become an option. We were in it for the long haul. My sister said she thought, "What have I gotten myself into?" But she too has stayed committed to her marriage.

Another reason we have stayed married is because we have learned to forgive each other. Over and over we have had to forgive. Every day. Forgive seventy time seven. And then forgive again.

I am happier in my marriage today than I have ever been. Phil would say the same. We have come to care about each other in ways that we did not and could not in our younger years. We were too immature. Too selfish. Too busy with kids. But now we have time for each other, and we understand how much we need each other. We have learned to speak each other's love language, and we can't believe the difference this one thing has made. (If you haven't learned this one, I say get started on this one today.)

So today I'm thankful for 31 years of "Dancing in the Minefields" with my man, my diamond man.

The Least of These

On Wednesday night I taught a lesson on honoring God and I asked the kids what they would do if Jesus were coming to their house for dinner. They said they would cook and clean and decorate. One boy said, “Cook the food with love.” I said, “What would you cook?” He said, “Angel food cake.”

But then I told them how we honor God when we treat others as if they were Jesus. If we honor the “least of these,” it is the same as honoring Him.

Later, there was not enough room on the vans for all the kids so I took some kids home. They got in my car and one of the boys saw my screen and asked me if I had GPS. He said, “Cool…can we use it?” I said no because it would take too long to put the address in. He said OK.

After I dropped them off, I thought about our lesson. And it occurred to me what I had done. I thought, “What if Jesus had been in my car? What if He had said, ‘Would you show me how that GPS works?’” I knew how I would have responded to Jesus. I would have been delighted to show Him how it works. And I would have been pleased that He had asked.

I was so ashamed. “Whatever you do to the least of these you do to me.” I had just said that to the kids. And now I had done it. I had been too busy and in too big a hurry to be done with them and be on my way home. I had treated them shabbily. I had treated Jesus shabbily.

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I posted this quote a few weeks ago on my FB status.

“Today it is fashionable to talk about the poor. Unfortunately, it is not fashionable to talk with them.”
- Mother Teresa

It really got me to thinking about how I interact with the poor. My first thought was that I don’t interact with them because I was just thinking of poor as the homeless or people who need food from the food bank or things like that. And then I thought, “Duh.” I interact with the poor every day. Eighty percent or more of the kids at school get free or reduced lunch and are considered “poor.” So I have been interacting with the poor on a regular basis over the past 31 years that I have been teaching, and I haven’t really thought of it like that very often.

Another place I interact with the poor is in Kids Club on Wednesday night. Many of the kids who come on the van are poor.
So I have decided that I need to think more about this new perspective. How does God want me to interact with the poor?

I have been to several training sessions at school that have helped us to be aware of poverty as a subculture in our society. These sessions have made me think about how people in poverty view the world, what they value, and some of the unwritten rules that they live by.

Now if I were a missionary in another country, I would be aware of the differences between my culture and the country where I am working. It is the same with the poverty subculture. I have to be aware of the differences. If I were in another country, I would not expect the people there to think like I think, or value what I value. But often, I react the wrong way to those in poverty. I think they should behave differently, or think differently and I can be frustrated by their inability to do so.

So I need to have more patience and love.

It’s a work in progress with me. Awareness is the first step.

Forgiveness

My pastor, Brian Kearns, has been preaching on forgiveness the past couple of weeks. It has truly blessed my heart. Here are a few of the notes I jotted down from the messages.

Forgive seventy times seven. Wow!

The offender cannot calculate the impact of what they have done. Forgive anyway.

There is absolutely no way to fix what has been done. Forgive anyway.

The 5 excuses for carrying unforgiveness in our lives:
1. It is too big.
2. Time will heal it.
3. I'll forgive when they say, "I'm sorry."
4. I can't forgive if I can't forget."
5. They will do it again.

When you harbor bitterness and fail to forgive, you are the one who suffers. It is like drinking poison and expecting the offender to die.

When we forgive, we don't keep bringing the offense up to others; and we don't keep bringing the offense up to ourselves. ( I have been so guilty of doing this.)

Different actions will lead to different feelings. So, we should be kind and tenderhearted. And thus, we become more like Christ.

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The ideas of forgiveness, mercy and grace have been taking on new meaning in my life. I am seeing more and more clearly just what God did for me and what I, in turn, should give to others. I am thankful for all that I am learning. Hard lessons, but very precious.