I have neglected my blog the last couple of weeks and so, with Alyssa's prodding, here I go again.

Last Sunday we had a lesson called Luggage. It was all about what a burden it is to be seeking revenge against others when we have been wronged. When we fail to forgive and seek vengeance what we are saying to God is that we don't trust Him to do what needs to be done to that person. So we take over God's job, like we can do it better than He can.

As a part of the lesson I spoke a little about the steps we must take to forgive someone as outlined by Rick Warren in The Purpose Driven Life. However, in the course of talking about this I felt like I was having a hard time saying what I meant. I mean, words were coming out, but I felt a little like the girl in the clip at this youtube address:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww


So with that said, let me summarize here what Rick Warren had to say about the steps we should take when we have been wronged OR when we have wronged someone else.

1. Talk to God before talking to the person.
Tell God about your frustation or how the incident happened. Ventilate vertically.

2. Always take the initiative.
God always expects YOU to make the first move. See Matthew 5:23-24.
"Delay only deepens resentment and makes matters worse....Acting quickly also reduces the spiritual damage to you. The Bible says sin, including unresolved conflict, blocks our fellowship with God and keeps our prayers from being answered, besides making us miserable."

3. Sympathize with their feelings.
"Don't try to talk people out of how they feel at first. Just listen and let them unload emotionally without being defensive."

4. Confess your part of the conflict.
This requires humility in acknowledging that, whether intentional or not, most of the time we have had some part in causing this problem.

5. Attack the problem, not the person.
"Don't use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you." Eph. 4:29

6. Cooperate as much as possible.

7. Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution.
"Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem. When we focus on reconciliation, the problem loses significance and often becomes irrelevant."

What good thoughts! And how hard they are to put into practice. Let us all strive to live by these principles.

Romans 12:18 - "Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody."