Facing the World

My mom has faced some significant struggles in the past few months.  These struggles were one of the things that made it hard for me to be away in Canada this summer.  Thankfully, my sister Penny was home on furlough from Bulgaria and was able to be around for her and my dad.  One of the challenges was having a pacemaker put in.  We found out early in June that she needed it, but it was put off until August, and Penny and I were able to be there with her for this.  She is now doing fine.

The other setback has been more difficult.  Back in May she found out she had some skin cancer in her nose.  The operation in June got all the cancer but took out one of her nostrils and left a significant hole.  She was able to wear a bandaid on her nose to cover it up, and so she was able to go about her life.  Then in August she had the first of two reconstruction surgeries to rebuild her nose.

It has certainly been a trial.  Besides the physical pain involved, there is also the emotional difficulty of being disfigured.  She has to wear quite a large bandage over her nose whenever she goes out, or visits with people.  Her great-grandchildren have been afraid of her, which is really hard to deal with too. She doesn't complain, but her life has been seriously impacted by all this.

But she is a trooper.  She has it in her blood from the example her father set for her.  She and I have thought a lot about him during these trying days.

You see, my grandfather was born with a large birthmark on his face.  Half of his face was a dark purple and his nose and upper lip were somewhat misshapen.

As much as my mom is struggling with how she looks right now, he had to struggle with it his entire life.  I'm sure people stared at him, and others probably found him hard to look at.  But for me, I never thought much about it, and I certainly wasn't put off by it.  Once when I was in high school I took one of my girlfriends over to his house for a visit.  When we left she said, "Why didn't you tell me about his face?  Why didn't you prepare me for this?"  The truth is that it never crossed my mind to prepare her for it.  It was something I just never considered important.

I have been looking back at pictures of him and his family. He has always been a significant figure in our family.  I wish I could visit him now and ask him about how he dealt with his looks and people's reactions to them.  I wish I could understand the role this part of his life played in making him into the man I knew growing up-- a man of great faith, a man of kindness, a man full of grace.