An Answer for Caleb

My favorite picture of Caleb from the summer

One of the great things that happens at camp is that we all three meals together every day.  So every day you can end up sitting with different people and having different conversations, listening to people's stories.  It's so enjoyable.

One day I ended up sitting next to Caleb, who is in high school in Minnesota. This was his second summer at camp, and I became friends with him on Facebook.  As a result I had seen some prom pictures and asked him about them.  He proceeded to tell me how confusing girls could be and how he didn't understand them.

I said to him and Keith, who was sitting across the table from us, "I wouldn't go back and be a teenager again for any amount of money."

Keith said, "Well, if I could go back knowing what I know now..."

Caleb replied, "What do you know now?"

Very insightful.

Caleb is often very insightful.

I told him I'd have to think about that for a while.  I didn't have a good answer right then and there.  So that's what this post is all about.  Answering that really good question.

This is not the first time the idea of wishing you could know things that you will learn when you are older has been presented.  There is actually a book called Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self.  Many famous people contributed letters for this book.  You can read excerpts from the book here.  The letter by Jim Belushi is really wonderful.

So here's my own letter to my sixteen-year-old self.  I don't think it will help Caleb very much; lots of stuff you just have to figure out for yourself (but not necessarily by yourself).

Dear Pam,
I wish I could first of all convince you that you need to be less boy-crazy.  I know you hate it every time Mom points this out to you and you resent it, but she is right.  Other people may not know the non-stop obsession that boys hold in your mind, but you know.  Learn to be more subtle in acting on your feelings for boys.  I forgive you, though, because this drive to be accepted and attractive to the opposite sex is strong, almost overwhelming.

You're just beginning to understand what living the Christian life is all about.  Keep learning and listening from those around you because they are good people who love the Lord deeply.  Always take your faith seriously, but don't use it to build walls between you and your friends.  Find some common ground with people like Amy, maybe a project you can both agree upon as an important act of service.  This might open a door for great conversations about what you both believe.

Next year you'll be chosen to go to Girl's State.  GO!  Don't let your insecurities about wearing a one-piece swimsuit when everyone else there will have a two-piece suit keep you from having this great experience.  In reality it is such a small thing (although it is big in your mind).

When you get ready to go to college, check out a lot more schools.  You can go just about anywhere, and you can find great Christian people to be friends with on any campus.  Explore all your options.

Finally, just know that you're going to have a great life.  You'll find a good husband and raise some wonderful kids together.  You'll travel and end up getting to be a missionary, even though you think it's a dream that won't happen.  God is full of mercy and grace.  He will see you through the hard days that come, and He is worthy of all the praise for the blessings of the life you have ahead of you.  Thank Him every day for His great love. 

                                                                               Been there,
                                                                               Me

My sixteen-year-old self