My Aunt & Uncle

Another episode in my life that has been going on recently concerns my aunt and uncle.  Back in April I helped them down the rocky road of moving into assisted living.  It became a necessity when they both became disabled, my aunt with a broken foot, and my uncle with pneumonia.  They had to be housed in separate parts of the residence because of my aunt’s dementia.  This proved to be very disconcerting to them both.

In July they celebrated their 65^th wedding anniversary.

During the summer two of their nieces began investigating to see if there were facilities that would let them live together.  They made arrangements for the move.  I arrived the weekend before the move, and was shocked at how much my uncle had declined after the summer.  I questioned the move, and he backed out.  I regret how I handle all that transpired, but in the end, arrangements were put back into place, and they were able to move last weekend.

It has been difficult for all those involved, and because my aunt will not stay put, she will not be able to live with my uncle in this facility either.  The nieces who have been helping out have been working hard to make the transition as easy as possible, but I know it has been a heavy load.

I am learning so much about what to do and what not to do.  It is new territory, but I see in the future that I will need much wisdom about how to handle many of the loved ones in my life.

 

Betty holding Andy

When I visited my aunt I was not sure she would see me because she was very angry with me when she first moved into assisted living.  It was a great answer to prayer for my uncle and me to find that she had forgotten all the upheaval and received me with great joy.  I took some old photos to remind her of times that are clearer in her mind and to let her and my uncle know what a blessing they have been to me through the years.  Here are a few of those pictures.

Waiting for the cuckoo clock to go off was great entertainment at their house.

A visit with them at the Falls.

Ralph and Betty loaned us the money to buy this piano which Kathryn learned to play on.

They gave us this desk that Kathryn had in her room for a long time.

Will took his first steps on this visit to their place in Florida.

My Roommates

Cheryl, Peggy and I at the Broad Street Grill

The past few weeks have been busy.  I jumped back into school, and it is going well.  We've taken time to connect and reconnect with lots of friends and family.  One of my connections was with my college roommates, Peggy and Cheryl.

Cheryl and I grew up together and attended the same church when we were in high school.  When we both decided to go off to Tennessee Temple, rooming with someone I already knew made it a little easier to go so far from home.  After one of our roommates left at the end of our freshman year, we were happy to add Peggy to our happy home-away-from-home.

We were in each others weddings, all in 1979.  Then, we all went our separate ways.  As I lived in Tennessee with a career as a school teacher and raising two kids, Cheryl's and Peggy's lives were very different from mine.

Cheryl has spent her life as an educator also.  Gifted in music, she has taught piano lessons, lead choirs and other musical groups,  and composed and published her own music.  When her kids were small, she and her husband Steve felt the call to missions and made a new life in Budapest, Hungary.  There she became involved in providing special education services in the international school, and she is currently finishing up her doctorate in special education.  I'm so proud of all she has accomplished and her faithful service to the Lord.

Peggy is also an educator.  She has homeschooled all her children, and in the process has provided them with some phenomenal opportunities.  One of the many I could mention is that her daughter Ashley became a C.S. Lewis Fellow, has traveled to England to study, and continues to be a mentor in that program.  Peggy is currently serving in administration at a university model school in Rome, GA, one of only three in the state of Georgia.  All this is in addition to being a full-time pastor's wife, and serving the community in many ways including working at the local crisis pregnancy center.

And though our lives have taken us in very different directions, we still have many things in common.  All three of us had a daughter first, and then a son, all of them about the same ages.  Peggy broke the pattern by having a third child (a daughter) who is now 11 years old.  (Cheryl and I both say better her than us!)  We all three had problems in pregnancy including infertility and miscarriages.  We all have wonderful adult children who are working at jobs and finishing school and making us proud to be their mamas.  I can't fail to mention that we have all been married to the fine men we met when we were young, and have stuck with them through thick and thin.  

And as with any friendship worth its salt, whenever we can all get together, we pick right up where we left off.  We share our hearts and know the others are there for us in our times of need.  Cheryl and Peggy have tender hearts and praying minds that I know have lifted me up many times, and they will continue to do so as the years pass.  I am thankful for all that they mean to me, and the impact they continue to have on my life.  They are my dearest friends and always will be.

While in Canada one of the books I read was Reaching for the Invisible God by Philip Yancey.  I had read a couple of his other books, including one about prayer, that I thought were very good, so I picked it up when I came across it at McKay’s.  Here are some highlights from this book about the difficulty presented when we seek a relationship with Someone who is invisible.

From the introduction in which one of his readers encouraged his writing saying:

            “So be of good courage, my friend, and let this book be what every religious book is, an imperfect finger pointing with an indeterminable inaccuracy toward Someone we cannot by our pointing make present, but Someone from whom and toward whom we nonetheless feel permission to point, feebly, laughably, tenderly.”

To Whom shall we go?:  “The only thing more difficult that having a relationship with an invisible God is having no such relationship.”

Insights about doubt:  “Why, then, does the church treat doubt as an enemy?...Doubt always coexists with faith, for in the presence of certainty who would need faith at all?...Books such as Job, Ecclesiastes, Psalms, and Lamentations show beyond question that God understands the value of human doubt, amply portraying it in sacred scripture…God appears far less threatened by doubt than does his church.”

The Church and Doubt:  “The church at its best prepares a safe and secure space that belief may one day fill; we need not bring fully formed belief to the door, as a ticket for admission…I learned the opposite of faith is not doubt, but fear…Churches that leave room for mystery, that do not pretend to spell out what God himself has not spelled out, create an environment most conducive to worship.”

On Romans 8:28:  “Things happen, some of them good, some of them bad, many of them beyond our control.  In all these things, I have felt the reliable constant of a God willing to work with me and through me to produce something good.  Faith in such a process will, I’m convinced, always be rewarded, even though the ‘Why?’ questions go unanswered…Jesus poses a different question, ‘To what end?’…Rather than looking backward for explanations, he looked forward for redemptive results.”

Great illustration of God’s work in our lives:  “Consider the plight of a spy operating behind enemy lines, who suddenly loses all contact with friendly forces back in the home country.  Have they abandoned him, cut him off?  If he fully trusts his government, he presumes instead that the communication line has been compromised and contacts have ended for his own protection.  If captured and held hostage in Beirut or Teheran, he will have no evidence that anyone back home cares for him.  A loyal spy, though, will trust that his government is scouring the diplomatic channels, offering rewards to informers, and perhaps launching a clandestine rescue effort.  He believes, against all apparent evidence, that his government values him and his welfare.”   

How to look at our ordinary lives:  "Great victories are won when ordinary people execute their assigned tasks—and a faithful person does not debate each day whether she is in the mood to follow the sergeant’s orders or show up at a boring job.  We exercise faith by responding to the task that lies before us, for we have control only over our actions in the present moment.  I sometimes wish the Gospel writers had included details about Jesus’ life before he turned to ministry.  For most of his adult life he worked as a village carpenter.   Did he ever question the value of the time he was spending on such repetitious tasks?"

How God really works:  “God is shy to intervene.  Considering the many things that must displease him on this planet, God exercises incredible—at times maddening—self-restraint.”

How the Holy Spirit works:  “After an organ transplant, doctors must use anti-rejection drugs to suppress the immune system or else the body will throw off the newly grafted member.  I have come to see the Holy Spirit as something like that agent, a power living inside me that keeps me from throwing off the new identity God has implanted.  My spiritual immune system needs daily reminders that God’s presence belongs within me, and is no foreign object.”

Great Question:  “Did I do anything today that would give God pleasure?  Since God longs to feel delight in me, did I give him such an opportunity?”

He wants to use me!:    “Like a proud parent God seems to take more delight as a spectator of the bumbling achievements of his stripling children than in any self-display of omnipotence…He wants to ‘share power’ with the likes of me, accomplishing his work through people, not despite them.”

God’s absence:  “I have learned to view the times of God’s absence as a kind of absent presence.  If a college student leaves home for school or far a short-term mission project, his parents sense his absence every day.  Yet it does not feel like a void, for it has a shape, the shape of his former presence.  They find reminders of him all through the house, dozens of times a day coming across some token that brings him to mind.  They also have the hope of his return.  That is the kind of absence created by God’s withdrawal.”

A Strange Summer in Many Ways

This has been such a strange summer.  In Canada we lived a different life...we left behind a lot of things.

We lived all summer without air conditioning. 

Unfathomable.  

We would not have enjoyed some of the hottest days if the guys from our church had not put on the deck and installed our sliding glass doors.  Another group added an attic fan that allowed us to stay comfortable on all but a couple of days.    Even on the warmest days it cooled down at night so we could sleep well.

We spent a summer free of TV.  Phil thought he would miss it, but neither of us did.  Days were busy for the most part, and in the evening there was almost always something interesting going on.  During camp we had chapel every evening.  After that we would usually spend some time each evening just watching the sunset.  We would have people come to visit, or we would go hang out with the kids.  One evening the girls put on their own version of a coffee shop complete with host and waiters.  You learn to make your own fun.

Now that we are back and watching TV including the Olympics, the TV is almost an assault on our senses.

We did watch a couple of old movies on our computer.  And we watched both seasons of Downton Abbey from PBS.  It took us all summer to find the time to watch 16 hours, but we enjoyed it tremendously.  Thanks to Sarah Jane for the recommendation.

We spent of summer without shopping for groceries, without having ice in our drinks (we got used to this, but are enjoying it since we've been back), drinking more red Koolaid than we did when we were kids.  I didn't drive for almost two whole months.  We went to Wal-Mart only two or three times.  The only sport we saw all summer was a Canadian football game on the TV at the Pizza Hut.  We timed our trips to town on Saturday so that we could listen to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" and "Prairie Home Companion" on NPR.  

I paid attention to nature more than I ever have.  I watched off my porch as flowers would bloom, fade and be replaced by a new species, each in its own season.  We watched the loons raise their chicks.  Because the windows were always open, we heard birds call, we listened to the wind howl, and we could hear Autumn practice her cello.  The chipmunks played on our deck and kept the dog at bay.

Raiding our bird feeder

If you could get a closer look you would see the
chipmunk sitting just inside the end of this board.

What a strange summer it has been... but strange in the most marvelous ways.  We enjoyed it all so much.  We can't wait to return. 

Adventures in Hair Color

I knew before I left that one of the challenges of the summer would be my hair.  Away from home for two and a half months without Wanda...how was I going to manage?


I toyed with the idea of just letting it go gray over the summer, but Wanda convinced me that I was too young for that yet.  So she loaded me up with all the supplies I needed to keep my hair color intact.  She generously said that she was donating it to our cause.


After arriving the challenge became finding someone who would do the actual applying of the dye.  The first time I needed it three staffers from Alabama did the job.  We didn't know each other very well yet, but I told them it was just hair and not to worry about how it turned out (it turned out just fine).  It took all three of them to do it, which would have looked hilarious if I had allowed pictures, but I did not.

The next time I needed my hair dyed Phil did it.  And no.  No pictures of that either.

Today I asked Tirzah to do the deed.  She had been dying hair all summer.  She dyed Brandon Dahlberg's hair black so he would look like Eric.  There is a picture of that somewhere but I don't have it.  She dyed Blaze's mohawk so that it actually looked like fire.  She also did these...

So I knew she had experience.  When I asked her to do it she said.  "Well, I have to ask you one thing.  Have you asked your parents if it's OK for me to dye your hair because I don't want them to be mad at me."  I told her I thought they'd be OK with it.

She did a great job.  I've had really short hair all summer (somewhat shorter than I'd like) so I'm going to let it grow out a bit.  But if you see Wanda at The Shoppe tell her I'll be giving her a call soon.  I have missed her!

Dear Friends

Yesterday, Adam and Billie Kane, along with their four boys, left for home in Indiana.  I miss them already!

Adam has been the program director all summer.  That means that he is the one that keeps the activities running and on schedule.  At meal times he makes announcements and delivers mail.  In the evening he walks the campgrounds, listening to how bedtime devotions are going, stepping in when a cabin is too rowdy, making sure lights out happens eventually.  

When the counselors arrived for the summer he did the staff training.  Because our theme has been the Olympics all summer, we all called ourselves coaches, and that word made a difference in how we looked at what we were doing with the staff.  When he or I saw problems in things that counselors were doing, we were able to take them aside and speak some words of correction, just as a coach of a sport would do.  It seemed to make it easier for the staff to take such correction, and easier for us to give it.

Adam was also the chapel speaker for two of the junior weeks, and he is a skilled teacher.  He spoke four nights of the week and gave one of the clearest presentations of the gospel that I have ever heard.  He had so many good illustrations to get the kids involved with what he was saying.  It was very good.

Adam gave some great illustrations of the word "sacrifice."

He used this activity to get across the idea that we can't work to
cover our own sins.

Adam's wife Billie does many things in our program too.  Her specialty is baking.  She spent her weeks baking cookies, cupcakes, and some of the most delicious pies you will ever eat.  She organized devotions for the girls on staff, and did a lot of mentoring (whether she realized it or not) to the girls who had kitchen duty.  She is a sweet person, and I'm so thrilled to have her in my life.

Billie's weekly creation!

The place is not the same without them, but they plan to be back next year.  I can't wait! 

Debrief

This picture shows one of my favorite times during the week.  On Friday night after the campers and their families leave we have a time to share things that went on during the week.  Needless to say, lots of funny stories are shared.

We heard stories of homesick campers, many of whom end up making it through the week and not wanting to leave.  We heard about campers who drank a lot and had to be taken to the washroom at all hours of the night (some did not quite make it in time).   More than that I can't repeat here.

And each week the counselors and staff who have invested time and effort in loving campers, who have planted seeds of kindness, and the truth of the Gospel in the hearts of many, tell how all this has affected their lives.

This past week we have had several girls counseling together who first met when the younger girls were campers themselves.  What a joy it is for us to see these girls take on a leadership role after having been mentored by those who have come before!  Counselors who come summer after summer are able to connect with campers they have worked with in the past and to reestablish their relationship with these kids.  It is fun for them to see the growth taking place in the lives of campers.

Last night was our final debrief of the summer.  It is sad to see it come to an end.  One more week and we'll be headed for home.  The time has passed so quickly.